|For the uninitiated, pretend for a
moment that you're a young Sailor.
You are sitting with some of your buds
(on the boat --- in a barracks --- in a diner --- in a bar... doesn't matter)
and you have this really neat story YOU JUST GOTTA TELL.
The story may be true. It may be just
some crap you heard from another guy. Or it may be true but "slightly embellished.
(Most no- s**tters are).
So you say to your buds, "Hey listen
up guys, Now this is no s**t...". And then you proceed to tell whatever
it is that you JUST GOTTA share with 'em.
[ There in a nutshell is NTINS. ]
But we shall continue.....
Naturally one of your buds is eagerly
waiting for you to shut-up so he can top that --- and so he tells one.
And on and on and on and on it goes. That by the way is a very patriotic
and historic activity. It all goes back to John Paul Jones whom they say
could tell really terrific "no s**tters". He did however wear a funny hat.
Personally I always liked to pass along
"STRAIGHT MDI" (mess deck information). Considered to be a most reliable
source. Better than the CIA some people claim.
Some academic journals claim that actually
the fine tradition of NTINS began with the Phoenicians. But I also read
in THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC (March 1997 issue) that recently discovered
ancient scrolls say it may have started with Noah. Which I seriously doubt,
as he was loaded up with critters (two by two and all that) so I suspect
the phrase NO s**t never crossed his mind. He was up to his eyeballs in
Lesson note: The preceding is
a fine example of a variation of today's lesson. Which positively must
--- to be absolutely grammatically correct --- conclude
with ATANS (And That Ain't No s**t)
But to continue ---
as you have your milk and cookies, while sitting in your little chairs
(and leaning slightly forward so as not to miss a single word) ---
how did it all begin in these forums? One may ask that. Yes one may.
And one certainly should.
On the net several years ago someone
made an acronym out of the phrase. It was done for expediency and brevity
and so they wouldn't be using any "bad words" in these pristine righteous
sailor forums during family hour. Or else one's posting may be subjected
to the wrath of the POST PULLING MONSTER.
Some just use the acronym TINS...
which is quite proper usage in most circles of society. Its all same-o,
Or... we could say NOUAT ie "Now Once
Upon A Time"... but hey! that's called a fairy tale. And we don't
deal in no damn fairy tales. We tell good old solid American no-s**tters
and that ANS (ain't no s**t).
[ Note the endless variations.
You see this is not a simple thing to understand when the many layers of
it are peeled back. ]
Sure... Betcha do now.
Subject topic for the next
two week includes FUBAR followed by BOHICA, NFG, WTF, STFU, RCH and OIA.
Come in through the side door, wear dark glasses and a string of garlic
bulbs around your neck.
Sid - striving for a more enlightened society
... and I do know Jack about the subject
Don't forget the field trip next Thursday.
We visit a BALAO class Submarine and you will get to dive Number 2 s**t
tank. Wear old clothes.
Quiz on Tuesday. Be ready. Class dismissed.