For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schidt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schidt!"  Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schidt is the only son of Awe Schidt. Awe Schidt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schidt, the owner of Needeep N. Schidt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schidt married Noe Schidt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schidt, Giva Schidt, Fulla Schidt, Bull Schidt, and the twins Deap Schidt and Dip Schidt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schidt married Dumb Schidt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schidt divorced. Noe Schidt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schidt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schidt married Loda Schidt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schidt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schidt and Giva Schidt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schidt-Happens nuptials.

The Schidt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schidt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schidt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schidt, " you can correct them.